Thursday, May 17, 2012

Catholic Education: Her Present

Why I Love My Daughter's Catholic School

I love my daughter’s Catholic elementary school, and so does she.  Like the mission statement of virtually every Catholic school since John Paul II’s Familiaris Consortio was published, her Catholic school recognizes parents as the primary educators of their children.  This community means it.  This school organizes itself around and actively mirrors family life.

The children with siblings at my daughter’s school have more time together during school hours.  They have recess at the same time and eat in the same lunch room.  They pray together as a group three times per day.  This familial way of arranging time during the school day also allows children to see the interactions of other sibling combinations, both good and bad, so siblings can recognize the blessing of each other and model their relationships toward virtue.

When I did the math, I was surprised to learn that my daughter and I are separated for 29% less time than at other schools.  That’s 29% more time with me, learning the values that I want to teach instead of those that society-at-large wants her to learn.  The school achieves this reduction by cutting out the conspicuous inessentials that have crept into the modern U.S. educational system. 

Here are just a few of the many blessings my family has received during our time at this school:

1)  The Playground

During my daughter’s Kindergarten year, I was able to embrace the opportunity to observe lunch recess at least once per week.  I have witnessed all of the following beautiful things:

  • I have seen crowds form around newborns as though they were rock stars. 
  •  I have seen teenage and pre-teen boys mentoring younger boys. 
  • When I inquired into the nature of some very loud roaring between two groups, I was informed that they were playing the “lions against the Christians game.”  Another mom nearby cheerfully chimed in, “I hope the Christians win.”
  • Whenever children incur minor playground injuries, their siblings are immediately at their sides.  Don’t bother to tell them that you’ve got it handled because they’re not going anywhere until they’re satisfied that their brother or sister is fully recovered.
  • Most of the kids interact with adults successfully on a consistent basis, as opposed to larger schools where visiting adults are routinely ignored. 
  • Disputes, disagreements, and general unkindness do occur.  However, the subject matter of the disputes is far more innocent than I have experienced elsewhere.  Additionally, because the staff and supervising parents are immediately accessible and develop relationships with the kids and each other, situations requiring intervention are handled immediately.  The children seem to interact with each other more like siblings and cousins, with all of the predominantly positive aspects unique to those familial relationships.

2) Heroes

These kids know their Saints.  Heroes elsewhere generally consist of actors, pop music singers, and professional athletes.  For each of these children, a time of testing will eventually come.  It matters whose example they turn toward when the chips are down.

3)  Authentic Catholicism

This school is permeated with Catholicism.  All of our beautiful traditions are taught, such as the power of Novenas and scapulars. Catholic teaching is not watered down—missing Mass as a mortal sin is discussed because it is true, and the parents do not object.  Catholicism is not limited to formal religion class.  Textbooks include references to God and our Church and are classical in nature, enabling this school to reclaim the intellectual roots of the Catholic education of years past.

4)  Keeping Life Simple

Using this school as a model for other (diocesan) Catholic schools presents some challenges.  Some of the accomplishments of the school come because its class sizes are limited to 15 students per grade, which is not readily replicable at other schools.  Many families cannot arrange life around Friday at-home study days.  Some families will want foreign languages taught before fourth grade.  Others will decry the lack of sports teams and formal art and music classes.  I find none of these issues worthy of sending my daughter anywhere else, and I considered all of them before placing her at the school.

As for sports, she plays soccer, softball, and basketball in community programs, and because we are not counting on college sports scholarships, she participates for fun and exercise while enjoying camaraderie as a team member.  She is also improving her social skills by playing with kids she doesn’t already know.. 

As for art, one of my first experiences with another school mom was an invitation to join her children in a parent-led art class.  The mom had taken a relevant course at the Phoenix Museum of Art and willingly shared the time she was spending instructing her own children with my children.  Her lessons did not consist of craft projects, but rather of learning the basic elements of art, identifying styles of art, and memorizing some of the paintings of the masters. 

As for music, the kids learn traditional Church hymns and practice singing in rounds.  They sing and recite in a Christmas program.  If I believe that my daughter needs more musical instruction, we will pursue it elsewhere using our Friday at-home study time.

The bottom line is that this school helps us achieve our goals for our daughter.  This school works with us, the primary educators of our child.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Catholic Education: My Past

Why My Daughter Goes to a Catholic School

Other than attending Mass every Sunday, there is little that I remember about the Catholic part of growing up in California in the 1970s and early 1980s.  I remember the big moments, such as First Holy Communion, my Confirmation retreat and the day I received that Sacrament, and having the privilege to be one of three girls chosen to crown Mary in May of my eighth grade year.

I attended Catholic schools for all eight years of my primary education and all four years of my secondary education.  I remember next to nothing of my formal religious instruction, but I do remember this:

Our lunch break at my parish Catholic grammar school was from 11:30am to 12:30pm.  All 240 students successfully coexisted on the large, tarry, black-top playground.  There were many activities available to us:  hopscotch, four square, the currently much-maligned dodge ball, jump ropes, kick-ball, etc.  But at noon, every ball was picked up, every hopscotch marker was left on the ground, and every jump rope ceased its twirling. Silence took over, we all turned toward the school’s white stone Mary statue, and led by the principal’s voice over the loudspeaker, we prayed the Angelus together.  The image is powerful for me now, and the experience was powerful for me then, despite the fact that my play-time was interrupted.

I believe that this one daily experience with prayer later saved my life.  As a young adult, I fell away from the Church.  I didn’t renounce it, but I no longer cared much about it.  It didn’t seem to hold any relevance in my modern life at a liberal public university.  Later, as a 28 year old woman, I faced a major life crisis, the kind of which I pray daily my children will never face.  But in the midst of great suffering, I fell to my knees.  I begged God to intervene and alleviate my pain, because at that moment He was the only one who could.  I didn’t remember or pray the Angelus, but I instinctively knew that the best thing I could do in that moment was to be silent and turn my attention to Him.

That is the instinct that I want my children to develop, and that is why I will continue my daughter’s exposure to as authentically Catholic an environment as possible, both at home and in school.  I have never read Aristotle, Plato, or even St. Thomas Aquinas, but in the darkest moment of my life, I remembered to pray.  If my children one day do the same, that’s enough for me. 

If they turn toward Him, He will carry them through.

Delivering Themselves from Evil


My daughters are afraid of things that are ... scary.  There, I've said it.  I've completely failed to desensitize them to all of the horror that the entertainment media is so eager to show them. 

They refuse to walk down the dark, narrow hallways at the movie theater because on previous such treks they have glimpsed posters of people on fire and vampires with blood dripping from their mouths.  For this, they've been called "timid."  At Disneyland, they prefer the carousel to the Tower of Terror, causing some to question their "willingness to try new things."  Perhaps my kids are just too literal--after all, the word "Terror" is in the title.  Daughter #1 once corrected an adult who tried to placate her fear of war by telling her that the only modern wars are being fought in other countries, far away from the United States.  Daughter #1 knows better:  her Mama lost a cousin in the Twin Towers, and her Daddy travels to New York too often for her liking.  Daughter #2's radar for evil is so finely tuned that she actually leaves the vicinity of the TV when Curious George starts to misbehave.  She knows that the Man in the Yellow Hat is not George's father, but she's convinced the fourth commandment applies anyway.

When did fearlessness become the measure of a child?  What about prudence and rationality?

Many around me subscribe to the idea that a well-rounded child will try anything once, and that her failure to do so foreshadows a narrow life.  I am teaching mine that they don't have to do anything that seems evil or unnatural.  I tell them that under normal circumstances they control what their eyes see and what their ears hear, and as a result I have seen them consistently refuse to be assaulted by the negative visual and auditory stimuli that many take for granted.  I am teaching them that evil is aberrant--that we are sinners, but that we were made for good, not bad.  And I do this while the entertainment media culture tries repeatedly to teach them that evil is commonplace, unavoidable, and nothing to get upset about.

I don't yet know if, how, or when they will or should lose their drive to block out the more upsetting side of life.  But for now, they recognize evil, they are afraid of it, and they will go to great lengths to avoid it.  I don’t call that “too timid”.  I call that one shot on goal.

Check It Off

Today is our 20th wedding anniversary, and suddenly I’ve become a writer with no words.  I dug for prior content and found most of what I've written about my husband to be too personal to post. 

Here’s what’s shareable:

2011:  Words I used to describe him to a friend:
  • Strong
  • Committed
  • Logical
  • Very funny
  • Smart
  •  Calming
  •  Protective  
  • Generous

2009, notes for an essay:  Little Things He Does To Make Me Feel Bigly Loved
  • He leaves his car radio on K-LOVE when he knows I’m going to use it next.
  •   Recognizing that I can no longer stomach movies with graphic scenes, he carefully researches and selects movies that are uplifting, include a positive spiritual message, and are void of all the garbage that seems to infatuate the Hollywood crowd.
  •   He loves one line from Fireproof as much as I do: “Never leave your partner behind.”
  •  For a few nights in a row last fall, he played “Dancing in the Moonlight” from the beautiful movie “A Walk to Remember” on his iPod for us to listen to together as we drifted off to sleep.  Never said a word.  Just did it.
  • He gives me his jacket or coat when I’m cold while we’re out…every time.  Only recently has he started to suggest, in a gentle way, that perhaps I should plan a little better next time.

May 16, 2012:  A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words

Steve, your faith since your conversion has become an anchor for our family as you lead us in a whole new way.  I know it’s a bit self-indulgent, but last week I found some video-making software that is really easy to use.  In practically no time (i.e. this is why the laundry isn’t done--picture inserted smiley face here), I was able to create a summation of the beauty with which God has blessed us.  Hope you like it.




“Put me like a seal over your heart,
Like a seal on your arm.
For love is as strong as death"
--Song of Solomon 8:6

Twenty years:  ✔