My
daughters are afraid of things that are ... scary. There, I've said it. I've completely failed to desensitize them to
all of the horror that the entertainment media is so eager to show them.
They
refuse to walk down the dark, narrow hallways at the movie theater because on previous
such treks they have glimpsed posters of people on fire and vampires with blood
dripping from their mouths. For this,
they've been called "timid."
At Disneyland, they prefer the carousel to the Tower of Terror, causing
some to question their "willingness to try new things." Perhaps my kids are just too literal--after
all, the word "Terror" is in
the title. Daughter #1 once corrected an
adult who tried to placate her fear of war by telling her that the only modern
wars are being fought in other countries, far away from the United States. Daughter #1 knows better: her Mama lost a cousin in the Twin Towers,
and her Daddy travels to New York too often for her liking. Daughter #2's radar for evil is so finely tuned
that she actually leaves the vicinity of the TV when Curious George starts to
misbehave. She knows that the Man in the
Yellow Hat is not George's father, but she's convinced the fourth commandment
applies anyway.
When did
fearlessness become the measure of a child?
What about prudence and rationality?
Many
around me subscribe to the idea that a well-rounded child will try anything
once, and that her failure to do so foreshadows a narrow life. I am teaching mine that they don't have to do
anything that seems evil or unnatural. I
tell them that under normal circumstances they control what their eyes see and
what their ears hear, and as a result I have seen them consistently refuse to
be assaulted by the negative visual and auditory stimuli that many take for
granted. I am teaching them that evil is
aberrant--that we are sinners, but that we were made for good, not bad. And I do this while the entertainment media
culture tries repeatedly to teach them that evil is commonplace, unavoidable,
and nothing to get upset about.
I don't
yet know if, how, or when they will or should lose their drive to block out the
more upsetting side of life. But for
now, they recognize evil, they are afraid of it, and they will go to great
lengths to avoid it. I don’t call that “too timid”. I call that one shot on goal.
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