The Extra Day

I had wanted to give up.  I had begun to question the truth of what I had previously considered to be a very clear call to parent more children.  Was I making the whole thing up?  In continuing to pursue adoption, were we in danger of “forcing God’s will,” as I was told by one ambivalent priest?  I prayed to St. Jude because, for the first time, the whole journey had begun to feel like a lost cause. 

Even as we decided to take Baby Justin into our lives, knowing the many risks and not being certain of the joy it would bring, I continued to waiver.  Are we doing the right thing?  Will we be bringing too much suffering into the life of our family?  Is it fair to our girls to adopt a child who would need extra care when we’re, well, over the average age of new parents?

As I held him during those first days, enjoying all of the beautiful, fun moments of having a newborn, my doubts did begin to fade.   And then came December 11^th.  

Those who believe in coincidences can stop reading here.  Even for those who do not, I could never do justice in writing to the Power of that day.

Our stay in Alabama had already been several days longer than we had anticipated.  First, our social worker came down with the flu and could not travel for three days to obtain the needed signatures.  Then, some new information came up unexpectedly.  Another signature was needed, this time in a different state altogether, which would require retaining another attorney and social worker who would agree to squeeze our needs into their already busy schedules.  Eventually we deduced that December 12^th would be the earliest date we could possibly travel home, so we made plane reservations for that date. 

On the morning of December 10^th, our guardianship was officially approved by both AL and AZ and we were given permission to go home.  We decided to celebrate the next, extra day before we could travel back to AZ by visiting the town of Baby Justin’s birth.

December 11^th Begins

Baby Justin was born in Cullman, Alabama, about an hour’s ride from Birmingham.  The first sign that this trip would be special was literally a road sign:

 

I had created this blog for my family with the name "In Joyful Hope" in February 2012.

As soon as we exited the freeway in Cullman, we were immediately struck by the most prominent feature of the landscape:

Since we love old churches, we decided to do a drive by. 

Sacred Heart Parish

The image of the Sacred Heart has been meaningful in my life for many years and has been increasingly present in my life for the past few years. I’ve continually acquired images of and devotions to the Sacred Heart because it is a visible reminder of Christ’s love for all humanity.  Who doesn’t want more of that?

 

  

The prayer most often on my lips during our five year journey to add to our family, and especially during our agonizing two-week period of waiting for all of our adoption’s legal issues to play out, was simply “Thy will be done”—not because of any particular spiritual maturity on my part but rather because a creative priest suggested that I plant myself in front of the Blessed Sacrament and pray those four words exclusively, over and over again. As I continued to pray those four words over the course of several months, I gradually came to truly mean them, which did eventually lead to a greatly improved level of trust in God’s plan for the life of my family.

So my second surprise of the day was the parish sign:

Note the quote at the bottom of the sign.

Really, this would have been enough to confirm for me that our adoption of Baby Justin had His fingerprints all over it.  But, as I learned from a wise Bible Study leader in our parish, when God has His hand in a situation, He will not be outdone in His generosity. Her words:  “He wants to bless your socks off.”  And so the day went on.

The Grotto

After visiting the hospital where Baby Justin was born, we decided to check out a sight that we had seen advertised on a freeway sign just inside Cullman. 

The Ave Maria Grotto consists of miniatures carved in stone by a monk over the course of many years. Most of the carvings are of sacred Catholic buildings.

Miniature of St. Peter’s Square in Rome

Hillside of various miniatures

San Fernando Mission in CA—only a few blocks away from the house where Steve grew up.  We visited it as a family for the first time a few months before Baby Justin's birth.

And then, standing off by itself on the west side of the property, was the only full size statue of a Saint in the grotto: 

St. Frances Xavier Cabrini feast day:  November 13^th 

Baby Justin’s birthday:  November 13^th

Ave Maria Grotto is housed at St. Bernard Abbey.

Saint Bernard’s feast day: August 20^th  

My birthday:  August 20^th

The grotto was dedicated in 1934.  I love it that God plans ahead!

 Proverbs 3: 5-6 

During the time period in which we tried to have a child the old-fashioned way, I resigned from my volunteer accounting post at Maggie’s Place.  I felt the need to slow my life’s pace down in an attempt to lower my stress level.  As the months passed without a successful pregnancy and two failed adoptions, leaving Maggie’s Place was a move that I constantly second-guessed.  Maybe I had thwarted God’s plan for my life beyond small children. 

As a gift recognizing my time of service, my friend selected Proverbs 3: 5-6 as a bible verse to include on a keepsake wall hanging. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

The gift shop at the grotto was large and fascinating to us.  We saw some name cards on a display and decided to look for Justin’s name.  Finding it literally took my breath away.

 

Coming Home

The final and most awe-striking confirmation occurred in the timing of our trip home, December 12^th, the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe.  Coinciding with the loss of an adoption, I had begun to feel a strong devotion to Our Lady of Guadalupe.  It seemed odd to me only because that appearance of Mary is one that I had never felt called to study.  Just a sampling of the images and information I acquired between June and November:

 

A piece of the real Tilma on display at the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels in Los Angeles, California    

A votive candle I lit right next to the Tilma relic in July 2012 for the intention of a successful adoption  

Our Lady of Guadalupe feast day:  December 12^th

Our arrival home with Baby Justin:  December 12^th

The Broken Road

Despite the many difficulties on our long path to adoption, I am grateful for the many lessons about trust, grace, humility, and love that I learned along the way.  God blessed our journey with three children in Heaven, two living children missing from our lives but whom we will pray for always, and so many lessons I can’t yet begin to teach Baby Justin. I don’t know the plan for his life, but I do know that God intended him for our family from the beginning. I can only trust and give Him thanks every day.

 

Dear Justin,

I made this video for you to help you understand that you were adopted and to share with you our joy at your arrival into our family.  We love you so much!